So, our last post was back in May, which seems like forever ago. So, you need to be caught up on what is happening; Debbie took a sabbatical, which means I also took a break from the podcast and blog. What a good teammate I am, right? Not to move forward without her.
As all this happened, I reflected on God’s faithfulness in one of my kids’ lives.
This past weekend, we went to Cowtown and watched the Texas A&M Corps of Cadet “step off” for the last time in this 16-year tradition.
It started at 9 a.m.
We all (all 8 of us) arrived at 8:15 and waited as the clock counted down. The clock struck 9, and the horns went up; the flags went to the chest, and the band director raised his rod, and off they went. Marching right past us down the brick road in downtown Fort Worth. They were in perfect lines and perfect rhythm, and it was loud, powerful, and tear-producing. Yes, I started crying. This was not the first time I cried (or as my kids say the last) Let’s back up…
Last November, our eldest son wanted to attend the Air Force Academy. Sure, let’s make it happen. We met with our Congressman's Press Secretary, changed his Senior schedule according to her recommendations, went to multiple meetings with them, and interviewed with his board. We also had to get all the pieces together: the various applications, the YouTube video, and all the recommendations.
And we waited.
We waited a long time.
He got his nomination from the Congressman so now we wait to hear from the Academy.
From October to April.
We continued to wait.
In the meantime, he heard back from OSU and he determined it was a great backup plan. On April 21st, we got word he did not get in. He was bummed, like super bummed.
Crushed. Sad. Disappointed. (Let me add He was crushed and disappointed)
Me: Yeah! He will be closer. He will be closer. He will be closer! I was crushed for him. I could feel and see his disappointment. But I was secretly thanking the Lord for keeping him closer.
During that time, I constantly clung to how we started this process. Lord, we give it all to you. We commit this season to You. Where you want Whitaker to go, He will go. You are in charge, not us.
So I will never forget what Whitaker said, “So I guess the Lord does not want me to be a pilot!” Isn’t what so relatable? We get slightly dramatic when we don’t get what we want. I remember telling him no, wait, maybe God does not want to be in Colorado. There are other ways to be a pilot in the Air Force.
Now, what do we do?
Picture a crazy mom in the kitchen with multiple pans on the stove, bread baking in the oven, and kids playing ball in the open-concept house where the kitchen is left field. An older daughter sitting at the counter asking which dress looks better for HOCO and then rolling her eyes when I don’t respond because the younger kids' friend is named Alexa, and every time she calls it out, our “Echo Alexa” responds with some snotty response about how she has no idea what I am talking back. Geez!
So, a lot was happening.
Since his summer has opened up, he has reached out to Sky Ranch to see if they are hiring. They are, and he has lined up a job in Colorado for the second half and also works here for the first part of summer. Colorado is happy for him! Yeah!
VBS starts! He loves working on it. Second week in June, he gets an email from Texas A&M Corps of Cadets inviting him to apply to Texas A&M. Essentially, they are saying we know you did not get into the Academy, but we would love for you to join us here if you apply and get it, you must do it through the Corps.
Well, back in the Fall of his Senior year, the boy never wanted to apply to Texas A&M. “It is a cult,” I think, was his exact wording. So here we are, applying, and he has not even been there. He has never been to College Station, not even for a soccer tournament.
So he applies, no we apply, no I apply for him. He was done. He was over living through another disappointment and by the way “they are a cult.” Spoiler alert: Young parents, you too will be doing this for some of your kids who have opportunities that you want them to explore, while your other kids will do it all on their own. This does not mean anything except that sometimes life is overwhelming, and as parents, we have to pull them across the finish line. LOL, this is the case here.
So We apply.
Within those two weeks, our friends told him how great the Corps is, how much he would love it, and how it is the Texas version of the Air Force Academy. I mean, the Aggie Network came out strong. If he gets in, he HAS to go, they all said.
This is their saying, “From the outside looking in, you can't understand it. And from the inside looking out, you can't explain it.” This becomes true for our house.
Yes, He got it. It was shocking, and within a week, he had to go to student orientation and get signed up for classes. It was crazy, especially since he had never been there.
It has not been easy by any means. He walked on campus the first time and said to me, “Mom, I think I made the wrong decision.” “No, no, let’s go look at the Quad” I said, (where all 2500 Corps Cadets live). We walked around, and he quickly realized this was where he would be all at the time.
A community within a community.
We bring him back in August and drop him off. That was rough. As we drove into College Station kids took bets on when I would cry. Little did they know I had already started crying when I saw the water tower. What a mean bet, dang kids.
He got through the first week.
We got through the first week without him. It was challenging because one of his siblings did not get off the couch. It was weird but he is in the right place. He is closer. He has friends and a community already down there. God had him and still has him this whole time.
It was like sending him off to kindergarten, 6th, and freshman year—sending him to a big new school, and I can recall that God provided for him with each step. For example, in his 6th-grade year, when there was a huge new campus and classes, he had missed the 6th-grade walk-your-schedule day, but on their first day, his good friend Paige took his schedule out of his hand and walked him to each one of his classes as though it was her own class. Thank you, Lord, for friends because I thought he was going to get eaten by the 8th graders.
I felt the need to share this with you because I have had to develop an ability to look back and reflect on where God has brought me, our family, each kid, etc.… I want to share what God did in one person’s life in our home, but its effect on everyone is palatable. Why? Because we were all in on this. We were all a part of the conversations, the prayer, the heartaches, and the excitement.
We rejoiced in God the whole way, followed His leading, and pursued the options presented to us. As parents, we did not close off the new journeys that were given because our kid said no. We prayerfully acknowledged all of the options and, with petition, pursued them.
Psalms 22:22 says, “I will tell of your name to my brothers/Sisters; in the midst of the congregation, I will praise you.”
I also like this verse, “God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?” (Numbers 23:19) in which we are reminded that God is not like us, He made us, but He is higher than us. His ways are wiser than ours. His desire for our kids is better than we could ever imagine whether it is tech school, cosmetology school, not going to school at all, or staying where they are at working at HEB. We must cling to this and not what our local community tells us.
As I stood on that curb in downtown Fort Worth, watching my son do something I never thought was an option. (I mean, the boy has lived in soccer uniforms his whole life, so the uniform was not new, but the marching, the standing at attention, and the demands of the Corps were new and so weird but excellent for him.) God knows his heart. Our son likes competition, standards, and all being held to that standard, and he likes order and being able to count on things.
Is he going to be a pilot? Is he enlisting in the Air Force? I have no idea. That is Whitaker’s conversation with the Lord. As his mom, my prayer is not that the Lord give him the desires of his heart but that Whitaker aligns his heart and mind to the desires of God. (Col 3:2, Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.)
I pray that he aligns his heart’s desires with God’s as he grows. He opens his hands on the future to be used for God’s glory, and if that is through being a pilot. Let’s Fly! If it is through other venues, Let’s Go Lord!
Whit is incompatible until he is malleable.
We are all incompatible with God’s plan until we are malleable to His Words and guidance.
Tears will continue to roll down my face as we watch God work and move in our loved one’s life. I will now carry more tissue in my purse and the center console of my car.
I look forward to another great season of the Noisy Narratives, where your friends and mine will share their stories and hearts with us. Let’s grow in faith towards God and allow it to produce love towards others so that the Kingdom of God can be seen on this hill.
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